I wrote about pricing and self-worth in my last newsletter. But a surprisingly large number of people also struggle with asking for money.
Asking for money can be emotionally charged… we forget ourselves, we stumble.
Feelings of shame, fear of rejection, panic and inadequacy are not uncommon.
It’s good to remember that asking for money is a universal experience. Whether it’s a child asking for pocket money, a wandering monk with his begging bowl, even an heiress who has to ask her trustees. In business, we may need to ask for a loan, or give a price for our work.
When large sums are involved, like selling a house, we use agents to do the asking for us. Advisors, like myself, negotiate on behalf of corporate clients to raise capital or sell a business.
The advantage is obvious – it’s not personal so there’s less emotional investment.
Taken to its extreme though, emotional disconnection can lead to a transaction becoming a game – with the focus on winning. But of course, there is a cost. We can see this mindset playing out in many areas of business life, including the recent financial crisis.
Neither emotional charge nor emotional disconnect give us solid ground to stand on.
Either way, we compromise ourselves and cannot truly honour the other party. To be authentic in how we ask for money requires us to find that solid ground within ourselves.